A year older [37]: Quarantine birthday

Today is special among all birthdays because it falls on a quarantine period. Everything today was most likely expected because there's less likely a chance that I would be going anywhere but home. I always look forward to going outdoors on my birthdays because I am a typical home-buddy. Going somewhere outdoors like hiking or exploring somewhere new is my way of making my birthdays more special than the rest of the days of the year. I just really want to make this day stand out.

I write this as this day comes to an end with a smile on my face. It wasn't bad. It's not as eventful as I would usually hope but it was good, that's the most important thing. My friends sent greetings through text and chat, ordered food for some people in my dorm, got a visit from a friend and spent the rest of the day with family.

Most importantly, I'm so thankful that I got to start my day with God. Because after all, I owe this day and all other days to Him. In the past, I keep reminding myself of the lesson that you will live or feel better if you try to keep being thankful to God, even the smallest things. It will give you a better perspective on things and it should make you appreciate life more, instead of be sad and anxious about a lot of things.

So today, among other things, I am thankful for:

- new beginnings
- family and friends who genuinely care for me and support my endeavors
- the gift of passion and creativity and the joy that it brings to me when I do it
- an able body, mind, heart and spirit to perform my work and duties
- thoughtful words and prayers from others
- bountiful blessings from God, that I am able to acquire things I need and even things I want
- the gift of experiencing God's magnificent creations
- the gift of peace, safety and protection everyday from the virus

A special message and gratitude goes out to a special someone in the past. I will always think fondly of you on days like today and all other days after that. I'll always wish I have a birthday candle to blow every year. There isn't a day I don't think about you and wish I had done things differently. Thank you for all the sweet memories. They are all that I have now. I hope you also thought fondly about me today. I miss you everyday. I miss you always.

Here is something that I picked up from a devotion I listened to the other day. I've always focused on a particular thing in my past that I feel is important to be minimized. It's a challenge for me but I hope I can always remember it:

I am still in the years that ask questions.

04.23.20

A year older [35]

Yesterday, I turned thirty-five. I had mixed feelings while I anticipated this day since the year began. I purposely chose to come home from my vacation so I can be home in time for my birthday, half-knowing I'd be spending it alone.

Over the years, I've never really been exceptionally happy on my birthdays, except in the last two birthdays when I spent it with a special person. This year, he's no longer part of it, which breaks my heart. I miss him every day.

Not a morning person but I got up to watch the sunrise, had regular cake and coffee with a friend at the dorm for breakfast, went for a nature trip with G for the day, late lunch at Escaño and later a simple dinner. Did not get to blow a candle but said a prayer of gratitide.

So thankful for the few people who get me through each day, especially yesterday, for going out of their way to spend time.

It's my first birthday without Facebook and old instagram. I'm learning to take pictures mostly just for the memories to keep. I realize that I still have friends who care and that's all I need to know to continue and keep my head above the water; to manage a smile in photos, until the day that I can rise above and stay there.

It was still a happy birthday after all. (24 April 2018)

13 Things I know at 31

Last Wednesday, the 23rd, I turned 31.

Thank you to every person who made me smile and made me feel so loved on my birthday. Nothing is more appreciated than sincere greetings and well-wishes by every person who made an effort even just to type "happy birthday" on social media and personal messages.

I made two wishes this year before I blew my candle, so... crossing my fingers that they will come true in God's perfect time.

I was also in the mood to design something from some bits of lessons I have picked up in the past.

To view the individual images, click here.

Thirty Candles

Well, it finally came. The big three-zero. I've rambled and whined a lot about it in my previous posts and right now, I feel obliged to write something today because I've never written about my previous birthdays.

Today, I'm just going to write about my thoughts on various aspects of my life currently.


On birthday greetings

To everyone who took a few seconds or a minute of their time to write "Happy birthday" on my Facebook timeline, all my thanks and appreciation. I didn't reply because I simply didn't want to sound like a broken and predictable record, but I did click "Like" on each one. Special thanks to those wrote a bit more than a greeting. I honestly am so happy that some thought of me as "creative", "artistic" and "gifted artist". I've always wanted to be a good creative person; to be someone who can do what most people cannot do. So my sincere thanks! You know who you are, if by chance you happen to read this.


On photography

It's been quite a journey from the day I started taking pictures seriously. I started December 2008 with a Canon point and shoot and had acquired a few better equipment since then. Travel was my inspiration and I must say it still is and even more until now. I've ventured into event and wedding photography. I'd say at some point, I did think I could do this for a living and probably go into being a full time event photographer. Unfortunately, such thought has slowly faded.

Don't get me wrong. I love and adore photography. It's one of the most beautiful field of art anyone can master. I would like to continue doing it and be so much better at it but not in the event or commercial field. I want to continue photography as something I use to express my vision and myself. Not gonna complain if anyone would like to express interest in releasing any of my work commercially. Wedding photography involves a lot of people skills and I really don't posses that. And most of the time, I don't feel excited anymore or happy or fulfilled despite the long tiring day, despite having photographed the whole day.

But it pays well, though. And I don't charge much. Maybe I could keep doing event photography as a milking cow, if I ever get nowhere in my plans in life.


On life

One thing I took special note today is a list of eight things the game Candy Crush teaches you about life (thanks to Rona).

1. Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get lucky with a good board, sometimes you don't. Deal with it.
2. Persistence is the key to success. If you persist long enough, one of these days you are bound to get it right somehow. Or get lucky. Or both.
3. Ask friends for help when you need it. You'll be surprised at how many are able and willing.
4. Help friends as much as you can. Life is all about give and take after all.
5. There will not always be friends who can help you out. It happens. Suck it up and wait.
6. You won't always understand what's going on. That's fine, you're not expected to.
7. Chocolate is evil. It will mess things up.
8. Life is equal parts fun and frustrating. It is full of challenges every step of the way, yet it can also be sweet and colorful!

Source

Right now I still have big dreams to pursue. If there's anything important I've learned in the past, there's always going to be obstacles along the way. Only few people get the best things in life without lifting a finger. But to most people, everything good or great equals enduring so many tough times and taking down all the obstacles. It's cliche, but there's a reason why it's been said so many times. Because that's just how it works.


On travel.

I want to see and experience every beautiful place on earth. Period.


On blessings

Even though I have so much to catch up on at this age, being thirty is a blessing. So many have gone ahead so early and no matter how unfulfilled I feel right now, I'm still thankful to God that I have lived a blessed life until this day. It may not be looking as intricate and exciting as I want it to be but still, it's a gift to be in this amazing and inspiring world.


On chasing dreams 

I would like to quote what blogger, Brian White said:

We have our whole lives to chase our dreams. Don’t let yours slip away.

And something he told his friend who was pretty much feeling down like me:

1. You’re not a failed anything till you’re dead.
2. Not even then.

I guess what's important to me is doing all the things I've wanted to do to make life colorful. One of my greatest fears would be to leave this world without having so much as a craziest birthday ever, or the funniest or craziest thing I did in public, or a best-Christmas-in-the-entire-world-ever or something like that.

If life is a blank canvas, I fear that mine will end up so plain and untouched, uninspiring and without color. As much as I am a fan of minimalist art in real life, I would like my life canvas to be the opposite. Maybe even if I never fulfill a dream or two, I would like to at least have so much adventure chasing it.

This world is just so beautiful and majestic that it would be such a loss never to experience and see it.

A friend of mine from high school referred to me today as someone with "a heart of an adventurer". I would like to live by that title and be that person inside out. Right now, it's only my heart and mind seeking the adventure.

Whew! This is becoming a lengthy read. Please excuse the pour of thoughts and emotions this time. I believe it's the perfect time to be reflective and do a rain check on what's been going on in my mind. There's always a time in one's life when he thinks about the big words: love, happiness, hope, regret, dreams, life. If you never have spared a minute of your life thinking about these, something maybe very wrong.

I never really got to blow thirty candles today. I don't have a cake even. But I got some vanilla ice cream, which I really love. The thirty candles are in my mind, I'm thinking now what they should represent. Thirty wishes? Thirty things to be thankful for? Thirty resolutions? Thirty things I've learned about life?

There will always be a fuss about turning thirty. There seems to be and unwritten rule or deadline that at this age, something must already have happened in your life (have a child, have a family, have a career, travel the world). I have not done any of these things so I kind of feel that way, but I promise myself I will change the way I think and that is to think positive and be motivated. I just hope this state of mind lasts because I don't want to be under a dark cloud again and feel bad about everything.

Thank you God for a happy and stress-free birthday. It may not be the best but sure am happy it's not bad at all.

Birthday 2012

Well, another year has gone but a lot of things to be thankful for. For the past year, I'd met a lot of artists and photographers who excel in their craft, got featured in an article, got a new camera and had my old one fixed, discovered and fell in love with analogue photography, and still dreaming of visiting Europe.

Went to my favorite cafe, Cafe Antonio.