Hello and Goodbye

A few more days before I finally say goodbye to my beloved Singapore. It has been home for me for the past twenty months. I've had very good times and some bad times but all the friends and colleagues that I met while I was here are people I will be thankful of meeting. All the days that I felt stressed, angry, lonely and sad are now okay because there were so much more good and happy times to make up for those.

I leave feeling both happy and sad. Happy because it is a decision that feels right, for my family and for myself. Life here had not been the life I had envisioned two years ago but nevertheless, I am taking home with me some valuable lessons in life and love. So there are no regrets. There are things in this world you will never truly understand until you have experienced them yourself. I feel somewhat sad because this place is close to perfect to live in. I say close to perfect because even though everything may be so convenient and easy here, for me, life still feels empty. Being away from your home and your family and friends is something I thought I would never be bothered with. It is still in the comfort of home that I am able to excel and be happy.

And I think every single day we wake up, we all continue in our pursuit to life's end game: to be happy. Everything we do in this world, even love, is all about happiness. And while we're at it, we try to contribute to others' lives and make a difference in this world no matter how small. After all, isn't that what we're here for? To have a purpose? Something. Anything. I'm pretty sure we were not born to just pay the bills and die.

I will miss the cleanliness of this place; the ability of its residents to follow the rules; the proper behavior the community instills in its citizens; the feeling of safety wherever you go, even when you're out in the streets at 11pm or when you are alone at home the entire day. I will miss my favorite food, the mala hotpot and the pizza and the wanton noodles. I will miss having so many options in a shop when I want to buy something, may it be clothes, shoes, gadgets or arts and crafts materials. I will miss speaking Singlish to locals until I realize how funny I sound. I will miss the convenience of everything in this place.

I know home can be so chaotic and dirty and smelly and inconvenient. But despite that, it's those things that I've grown up to so you I've learned to accept it. Because it is home and that's where everyone you love are. And wherever your heart feels most at home, that is definitely where you should also be.

I took sunrise photos at Kallang River weeks ago. It was a great way to start my day.